Ah the soreness!

Doing the dvd workouts are becoming easier so now I need to throw in my running and get this show on the road. Matt is going to be on swings this coming week so I am going to get it planned out that I run while he is home in the am and do my workout dvd while he is at work that night while Mollybug is in bed. Then the following week and for the next little bit he goes on days so my plan is do to my workout dvd during nap time and then run in the evenings. I'm not gonna lie though it's hard for me to workout at night as far as running goes. By the end of the night I'm just done. Worn out. Maddison and Molly really keep me busy along with our two dogs and housework and yadda yadda yadda...but I guess I could stay to myself no excuse LOL :) I have the time I just need to do it! I met with my doctor again today (not really for weight this time but I got it in there) and he pretty much told me he won't prescribe me anything and I just flat out asked WHY!!!! And his response was it's not that he don't want to it's that as military doctors they are not allowed too all he can do for me is refer me to the nutrutionist. He was really nice about it. He has confidence in me that I can do this on my own and told me I need to have that confidence as well. And well he is right. So now what we are gonna do is meet once a week and go over my food journal and he is going to see if he thinks I need to tweak it and what not. Plus he said he will just talk if needed. We are also going to recheck my thyroid in July. He then asked me what I wanted so I was honest and told him I wanted to try Adipex and he straight up said he would never prescribe that to me or anyone even if he could. He called it crack/meth LOL well ok then... So when I got home as a friend suggested I posted on our wives page about Adipex and and where they got it and one lady privatly messaged me and basically said none of the base doctors will prescribe you any weight loss meds which I know and that she got Adipex from her gyno doctor. She pays $60 an office visit and $60 for the meds every two months. She then gave me the number and address of the clinic. At first I was stoked but then I talked to Matt and he don't really want me to take it either. UGH ok fine fine how many more no's do I need before I just do it the good ol fashion way of portion control (which I am doing and cutting calories and cleaned up my diet really good) and working out (which I am doing also) I'm just VERY impatient. I want it NOW NOW NOW! I'm over looking like I do but it's really my fault and I know that too! SOOOOO next week I will be meeting with doc and going over my journal and talking...fun fun!


Today I want to share a guacamole recipe that I really enjoy!

Ingredients

• 2 large, ripe avocados, peeled and seeded
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• juice of 1/2 lemon
• 1/4 tsp cumin
• 1/4 tsp chili powder
• 1/4 tsp sea salt (optional)
• 1 Tbs hot sauce (optional)
• fresh cilantro to garnish, finely chopped

Instructions

1. Mash all ingredients in a bowl with a fork and serve immediately.
   
   Day of eating was a little different since I was at the doc almost 2 hours (they were behind) and then had to go to the commissary...got home to a mess to clean up and then dinner and now bed LOL. I did get my gallon of water in and today was a rest day for both running and chalean extreme! I guess my journey is mine and it is what it is and I am the only one to change it and make it go the way I want to get the results I want and well I am...it's a slow process but I'll get there! Hope you all are doing well on your journey's!

Sigh...Just another day!

Today I called the base to try to see a female doctor about my weight (my male doctor suggest weight watchers and I decided I needed a new doctor) however I didn't want to change my PMC all together I just wanted to see a woman however here are Moody (and I'm sure as in the rest of the states) you can't do that...in order to see another doctor I have to go to Tricare switch and then hope they get my point....I don't want to fool with all that so I'm meeting with my doctor again! I'm going to be prepared! Going to bring in a food recall of what I have been eating, my work out schedule, and my tears! As the person that scheduled my appt suggested I'm going to be frank with him and lay it all on the line. I have a BMI of 36.7 and I'm 5 feet 1 inch! I'm obese and I just need help! I don't want surgery but I do feel like there are options of there to get me started on my journey and he has the power to give those options to me, I am even going to talk to him about a breast reduction. It's about time that happens (I have been doing my research about if I can nurse another baby if I do that now)...I'm sitting here looking at pictures from our Disney vacation a few weeks ago and I just want to cry...I feel like I look OK until I see a picture of me...I'm fat and I know it...

I'm huge! I have rolls, I just see ugh when I see this! I love my girls more than life itself but I do not love what having babies has done to my body and I even nursed Molly...of course I'm the one that don't loose weight (I gained a little as soon as I stopped nursing her) or get a super flat tummy! I feel like I am in a whole screaming to get out and no one is listening to me. I smile and try to hide how I'm feeling it's getting to the point that I just cry. SIGH UGH but on a good note I am on week two of no soda and barely any sweet tea mostly water, a gallon a day to drink. Still working out so I am sticking with that (I need to get back into running now too) I feel like I'm doing what I need to do right and getting the wrong result and that's pissing me off!!! WHY DOES THINGS SEEM TO WORK FOR EVERYONE ELSE BUT ME???? That's how I feel! Ok so enough with the woe is me moment! I want to say thanks to all you that read this and show their love and support! I know I'm not alone and your support helps me get through this. It takes a lot for me to talk about this stuff but I do know this is motivating for us all. We can do it I know...I just need a jump start!

Here is my recipe of the day!
Always remember you can tweak this to make them your own or to your taste!

Chicken Fajita Salad

Ingredients

• 1 Tbs coconut oil
• 1/2 yellow onion, diced
• 1/2-3/4 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1/2 tsp ground cumin
• 2 tsp dried oregano
• 1/4 tsp sea salt (optional)
• 1 large bell pepper, chopped
• 1 large head red leaf or romaine lettuce
• 2 medium tomatoes, diced
• 1 avocado

Instructions

1. Wash and chop onion, bell pepper and tomatoes.
2. Cut chicken into 1/2" slices.
3. Heat skillet over medium-high heat. When hot, add coconut oil and onions. Sauté until onions are soft and slightly translucent.
4. Add chicken, cumin, oregano and sea salt to the onions and continue to cook, stirring often.
5. When the chicken has browned, add the peppers and cook until tender.
6. Meanwhile, wash and shred the lettuce. Divide between two plates.
7. Top lettuce with chicken fajita mix, tomatoes and sliced avocado.

I have added guacamole to it and it made it to my taste! This was my lunch today.

Breakfast:
3 eggs, 3 pieces of bacon, 1 apple

Snack:
hand full of almonds

Lunch:
Chicken Fajita Salad

Snack:
sliced up peppers

Dinner:
rest of chicken fajita salad

some steak grilled pineapple

and water intake:
gallon a day

Tomorrow is my commissary day and I'm prepared with recipes and list to make this easier for me. I'm cutting out all grains now! I hope each of you are doing great on your journey, staying focused, getting your answers, and most importantly loving yourself!

UGH!

Well today is day 6 of working out and eating right and I step on the scale and WTF I gained 3 lbs! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH yeah to say I'm pissed is an understatment! I just cried! Let me say what is frustrating me the most is I went and talked to my doctor (let me say other than this I do love him as a doctor) but his answer to my weight was try weight watchers. He checked my thyroid which is high but according to him not high enough to treat yet it's almost double what the normal is. So my solution going to make an appt on Monday to see a female doctor. I don't want a quick fix, I don't want "a mircle" those don't exist what I do what is help to get me started! I have the will power but my whole body aches when I run, my knees are killing me! I am obese according to my BMI and help is all I'm asking for. I know by what I have been eating I should not have gained 3 lbs since Monday! With that being said days 4 and 5 were good days! I wasn't hungry I think due to my eating every 3 hours and I'm starting to get into bed earlier which is helping too I think. I don't eat past 8 pm sometimes even 7 pm and I'm drinking my gallon of water a day. I've really enjoyed working out here at home (I have two to do today) I'm planning on getting back into CrossFit soon I hope. I'm planning on posting a paleo recipe each day too starting soon so if you are following me that will be happening maybe starting tonight or Monday (Mother's Day being tomorrow I'm going to be off the computer) You may notice too when I find something I like to eat that is good for me and that works in weight loss I'll eat it a lot. So bare with me if you see my eating schedule looking the same. Not a bad thing but I know there are many more options out there to try! I saw somewhere this statement: Writing is a well-known method for motivating yourself to make positive changes...and well I agree which is why I started this. Later on this evening I'll post my food schedule and a recipe :) And I try to remember this too! "Good nutrition means eating a well-balanced and varied diet of foods in as close to their natural state as possible." 

I've made it to day 3!!!

They say the first 3 days are the hardest, they say if you can get through them you can make it through whatever you have set your mind too, and well I just got done with day three and I couldn't agree more! Day one sucked balls and that is the nicest way to put that! Day two eh I made it through...today I am happy to say I feel amazing compared to the previous days. Today started out nice, girls woke up around 8:30 as usual, we went and picked fresh strawberries which I love to do. Makes me feel better knowing fresh fruits and veggies are not all treated with chemicals and what not. I'm in the process of finding out where the huge farmers markets are :) Then came nap time in which Molly napped and Maddie "rested" kid doesn't nap anymore and well I tried to lay down on the couch and sleep...HOWEVER my hubby had other plans for me! He dragged me off the couch and made me go run. I'm not joking either when I say he dragged me...I was laying there trying to sleep and he got on the couch beside me and of course scared the piss out of me and woke me up and got in my face and said go run....UGH I was all no no I'm not I want to rest! Nope LOL he pulled me off the couch, followed me into the room, into the bathroom, and back into the living room LOL :) I was just made because I wanted to sleep but he then said you will love me later for this to which I replied I love you already...he was AWESOME for making me go because I am glad I did. He will never know how much I love him! He is truly my biggest fan/supporter! Then this evening I was doing my Chalean Extreme and Maddison was sitting on the couch behind me eating fresh picked strawberries cheering me on! LOL she also was like come one Mommy we need to do your workout dvd before bed! I can't even begin to tell you the love I feel in ways I never expected! I know this is key in my success!!!! I'm also making a pack to get into bed earlier! Getting great rest is really important and I'm seeing that! So here was my day!

Breakfast
eggs with ham

Snack
fresh strawberries

Lunch
taco salad
meat, lettuce, tomatoes

Snack
walnuts and some sliced peppers

Dinner
was lite I wasn't actually feeling hungry
so I ate the rest of the eggs and ham I made for breakfast since I made a lot

Snack I ate an apple

Water intake was a gallon

My headache has completely gone away thank goodness! And I'm really liking what I'm doing so far. I have realized there is really no quick fix and believe me I have tried it all! Hard work and dedication is what it takes and I can do both :) I am impatient and that's a huge part of my problem I wnat it to happen fast and now!!! I need to remember: Good things come to not only those that wait, but to those that work hard and take the time to take care of them! My journey...is rocking! How about yours???

On to day 2...

Well this am started off a little different than normal LOL thank you Molly Elizabeth! Kid's for sure make your life interesting :) So my day started later than normal. I didn't get to eat breakfast until after 10 am! I knew the rest of my day was gonna go crazy!!! I did however take photos of my lunch and dinner today to share. I can also post the recipe. (Pictures are at the end) I also cut up a pineapple while this was in the microwave. Here was my eating today:

Breakfast
Oatmeal and a banana

Snack
apple

Lunch
Rush hour chicken minus the tortillas
fresh pineapple (didn't eat a lot, pineapple is high in natural sugar) Too much of a good thing isn't good for you either

Snack
plain yogurt
fresh strawberries
hand full of walnuts

Dinner
Rest of chicken from lunch
a little green beans
a plum

I didn't have a snack I wasn't too hungry :) and not too mention we got a late start today so I didn't want to be eating late since I wanted to be in bed earlier than normal tonight. They say you should eat up until 3 hours before bed. My water intake was a gallon again. My headache hasn't been nearly as bad as yesterday, actually only noticed it once today. That's a great thing. Exercise wise I didn't get to go run which is my fault so I'll be doing that tomorrow and Chalean Extreme. (today was a rest day from that) My energy is kinda picking up but I know once I really start cutting out all processed foods I'll feel 10 times better. My journey is not going to always be easy nor go the way I want it too, but the way it does go is the way it's meant to be and it will be all mine! How was your journey today?

Rush Hour Chicken Fajitas

Ingredients:

2 medium green or red bell peppers or combination

2 medium onions

2 garlic cloves, peeled

1 ½ lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts

2 Tbsp. Chipotle Rub (or a store bought one)

12 (6-7”) flour tortillas

1 ½ cups (6 oz) shredded cheddar cheese

½ cup sour cream

½ cup prepared salsa

Directions:

1. Cut bell peppers lengthwise into ¼ inch strips and thinly slice onions lengthwise.  Slice garlic using Garlic Slicer.  Place vegetables in Deep Covered Baker.  Combine chicken and rub in Classic Batter Bowl; turn to coat.  Place chicken over vegetables.
2. Microwave, covered, on HIGH 12-15 minutes or until internal temperature reaches 165 degrees in thickest part of chicken and juice run clear.  Scoop Salad Choppers under chicken, avoiding vegetables if possible, and cut chicken into small pieces.  Stir chicken into vegetables.
3. Place tortillas in Large Micro-Cooker, microwave, covered, on HIGH about 30 seconds or until warm.  To serve fajitas, spoon chicken and vegetable mixture onto centers of tortillas.  Serve immediately with cheese, sour cream and salsa.

Yield:  6 servings

Nutrients per serving (2 fajitas):  Calories 490, total fat 18 g, Saturated Fat 9 g, Cholesterol 105 mg, Carbs 39 g, proteins 38 g, sodium 980 mg, fiber 2 g.

Diabetic exchanges per serving:  2 starch, 1 vegetable, 4 medium-fat meat (2 carb)

Cook’s Tips:  If desired, 1 pkg (1-1.25 oz) taco seasoning mix can be substituted for the Chipotle Rub.

To cook on the stovetop:  prepare peppers, onions and garlic as directed.  Slice chicken into ½ inch strips.  Heat 1 tbsp vegetable oil in  (12 inch) Skillet 1-3 minutes or until shimmering.  Add chicken; cook 4-6 minutes or until cooked through.  Add ¼ cup water, vegetables and rub.  Cover; simmer 3-4 minutes or until vegetables are crisp-tender.

Today's journey...

First off since I started eating clean again which I really do love (just not the starting of it) I have had the world's worst caffeine headache...it's still hurting at 11:30 pm at night AND have drank a gallon of water. Sigh I know it will get better. Since this headache bothered me all day I didn't want to do my workout but with the motivation of my Maddison it got done. I'm doing a combo of a few things since I'm training for a race in September. I have a running program to follow and on my rest days of that I'm doing a Beach Body workout program called Chalean Extreme. Today was a rest day from running so I do Burn Circuit 1 from Chalean. It's heavy weights with not a lot of reps which I love!!! Maddison has her own set of 3 lbs to "workout" with me :) Here was my eating schedule:
8:30 am
Breakfast eggs with some peppers and a banana

11 am
snack
Apple with some almonds

1:30
lunch
we had shredded chicken again with peppers and onions
salad
some strawberries

4
snack
more nuts walnuts/almonds

6:30
dinner
steaks
asparagus
sweet potatoes
all grilled :)

and I just drank water the rest of the night!

I really want to snack but I know it's not what I need and it won't help me at all. I don't want to ruin my hard work :) Hopefully tomorrow I'll get a scale picture and my measurements on here...My journey will be a great one and I will succeed...how about you?

Journey Starts NOW....

Well well well...here I am again starting ALL FREAKING OVER!!!! UGH that this the worst part, not the working out, it's stopping then having to start all over again. But this time I'm hitting it with a different approach. I love to blog and I think this might really hold me much more accountable than other things I have tried! I am such a mess and I'm just over it all! I never NEVER thought in a million years I would be at this point in my life. I never thought I would be as heavy as I am and it's really no one's fault but mine and that hurts to know. I know I know I have had to babies and that is only a small fraction of it. I have all the tools and knowledge to do this so why am I still fat and unhappy with me...where is my motivation and where did it go too???? I don't want to really admit it but I think I'm a little depressed and I want to kick that in the butt! I have had a LOT of changes go on in the last few months and haven't really found my place here in Georgia. SO since I have the time and resources to work on me I'm taking care of it now...I take care of everyone else except me. I have an amazing husband that loves his children and doesn't mind me going and working out or running. He supports whatever new thing I have wanted to try. He tells me what I need to hear without hurting my feelings and hugs when I need them...he loves me so much and I am so blessed. I mean who wants to see me without clothes on BLAH! I want to feel sexy for him and for me! I really don't like me right now so I'm hoping this blog along with my new eating habits and working out will change that! My intention is to post on here the things I don't really want people to see or things I am ashamed of. Knowing someone will check this makes me not want to disappoint. I will be posting scale pictures, my before's (YUCK), half ways, after's, and so on. I will post what work out I did and what I ate that day. I have no clue who will read this, chose to follow, or what but I think this is what I need...doing this for me! So who is with me, do you have a journey you need to start on???