Where have I been?

Well life has been kinda of crazy past little bit (not really an excuse) but I have still been getting a least a run in! I keep telling myself every night I needed to sit down and update but by the time it's bed time I'm done! I've been fighting a battle with myself after deep thought, prayers, reflection, talking and not talking to my doctor and with friends I've just decided to suck it up and do things the right way for me. We have also been talking about having another baby and I REALLY want to lose this weight even more now. I will say I am so blessed with a 4 year old that don't see me the way I see myself. I was getting ready and looked at myself in the mirror and rambled off that I was fat...which I shouldn't do anyways because I don't want her and Molly to ever feel the way I do about myself, I want them to love the person they are and she looks at me and says "Mommy you are not fat stop saying that you are beautiful" my heart just broke and I cried...and I told her how much I love her and thank you! I don't want her to be ashamed of me or embarrassed, I always worry about that...she totally let me know that she isn't and that she loves me no matter what! To her I am mommy the best mommy ever as she often tells me with a huge hug and kiss! That girl always knows what to say and when to say it and I am sure it's God speaking to me at times through the innocents of her! Since I last wrote I haven't seen my doc anymore I don't want to talk to a man much about my weight especially since he can't really help me. I thought about doing the Adipex thing since there is a doctor that can prescribe it off base but that is $120.00 a pop each time ($60 a visit and $60 to fill the prescription) and after really reading about it and having Matt's option I have just let that idea go out of my head...it really doesn't sound like the best thing to take...I mean sure it might be a fast option but I want to keep this off not lose it and bam it's back. There are the HCG shot places here that are like $60 a week however you are on a 500 cal a day diet and well that just don't seem healthy! I have the tools and knowledge of what I need to do and I don't know what hit me but it's just time to stop trying to find the easy way out and do what I need to do and my results will come and be better than I ever thought and I'm ready! So I thought I'd share my running schedule with you all, here is the link: http://as1.wdpromedia.com/media/ewwos/pdf/rundisney/Galloway/TOT12beg.pdf
It's for the race I'm running at Disney this September. I have been really thinking about running the Walt Disney Marathon in Jan and I think after this race I'll make that decision. Running used to be a very strong suit of mine and once I start losing weight this will become even easier for me it just sucks getting to that point! I have come to realize about myself that I long for the body I used to have and it's hard to accept that I will have to work hard for getting that. I will have to go run when I don't want to, I will have to work out when I don't want too, I will have to give up foods that I don't want to and that I KNOW are not good for me and it just blows! BUT the rewards will be great and I will be happy that I had to suffer! I want to have those amazing before and after pictures! Which here in a few I will post my HORRIBLE before photos. So my eating hasn't really changed much since last time I posted my eating schedule (which I'm sorry I need to get back on doing) but I am working on slowly cutting out the not so great stuff even more! I have also thought about sharing a recipe once a day, what do you all think about that?